You four walls stand
Blank and bland
You’ve seen what no eyes have seen
Witness to delights and disasters
Cocktail parties and late night cravings
You stay faithful, 24 hours a day
7 days a week
365 days a year
You are always there
Standing strong and standing firm
I can always rely on you
You’ve seen me cut myself
Burn my forearms on the top of the oven,
curse under my breath
You’ve seen sneak a glug or two from the milk carton
And steal a spoonful of ice cream from the tub
You four walls keep my secrets
You’ve seen my tears
Watched me fight endless fights
I’ve even treated your poorly
Smashing plates against you
Fury pulsing through my veins
Yet you said nothing
You stayed there.
Solid and unyielding
You four walls have seen it all
Understanding everything and still saying nothing
You’ve seen my “I’m sorry” breakfasts
The “I forgive you” dinners
The “It was my fault” packed lunches with silly unconditional love notes
With pretty hearts and kisses and hugs
But you said nothing.
You said nothing.
You four walls, stood silent.
Not once interrupting me
Toxic habit after toxic habit.
More spoons of ice cream.
More mid-night cravings of cold pasta
Bagels smeared with creamed cheese and strawberry jam
Nutella from the jar
Self-medicate I say, only you four walls and I know the truth
A commotion… Another explosion contained in your four walls
This time a cheap Ikea water glass,
leaving a scar on your pale skin
Don’t expect an apology this time.
You still haven’t said a goddamn word
You aren’t stepping in
You aren’t jumping to my rescue
But you still stand there
You four walls
You saw the splatters and the clashes
You saw the bruises and the cuts
The burns and the scrapes
And if I were to ask you what you think? Silence… Still holding my secrets
Still standing there
Never stopping me
Telling me to go – or to stay
To stop the packed lunches
Obligatory cups of tea at the door upon entering
The “it was just me and my hormones” vodka cocktail I poured
Enabling it over and over again
You four walls…
Faithful to the end
You’ve seen what no other eyes have seen
And let it be that way…
