You Four Walls

You four walls stand 

Blank and bland 

You’ve seen what no eyes have seen 

Witness to delights and disasters 

Cocktail parties and late night cravings 

You stay faithful, 24 hours a day 

7 days a week 

365 days a year 

You are always there 

Standing strong and standing firm

I can always rely on you

You’ve seen me cut myself 

Burn my forearms on the top of the oven, 

curse under my breath 

You’ve seen sneak a glug or two from the milk carton 

And steal a spoonful of ice cream from the tub 

You four walls keep my secrets

You’ve seen my tears 

Watched me fight endless fights 

I’ve even treated your poorly 

Smashing plates against you 

Fury pulsing through my veins 

Yet you said nothing 

You stayed there. 

Solid and unyielding 

You four walls have seen it all 

Understanding everything and still saying nothing 

You’ve seen my “I’m sorry” breakfasts 

The “I forgive you” dinners 

The “It was my fault” packed lunches with silly unconditional love notes 

With pretty hearts and kisses and hugs

But you said nothing. 

You said nothing. 

You four walls, stood silent. 

Not once interrupting me 

Toxic habit after toxic habit. 

More spoons of ice cream. 

More mid-night cravings of cold pasta 

Bagels smeared with creamed cheese and strawberry jam 

Nutella from the jar 

Self-medicate I say, only you four walls and I know the truth 

A commotion… Another explosion contained in your four walls 

This time a cheap Ikea water glass, 

leaving a scar on your pale skin 

Don’t expect an apology this time. 

You still haven’t said a goddamn word 

You aren’t stepping in 

You aren’t jumping to my rescue 

But you still stand there 

You four walls 

You saw the splatters and the clashes 

You saw the bruises and the cuts 

The burns and the scrapes 

And if I were to ask you what you think? Silence… Still holding my secrets 

Still standing there 

Never stopping me 

Telling me to go – or to stay 

To stop the packed lunches 

Obligatory cups of tea at the door upon entering 

The “it was just me and my hormones” vodka cocktail I poured 

Enabling it over and over again 

You four walls… 

Faithful to the end 

You’ve seen what no other eyes have seen 

And let it be that way…