White Hot & Hell's Kitchen

Metamorphism
From hot to cold
Melted to frozen solid

Beating of a frozen heart

A converted entity
Trapped in Hell's Kitchen

Cataclysmic forces
A random encounter
Locked to face doom
In Hell's Kitchen

Cascade of bubbling oil
A bath in your sins
Seasoned to deathly perfection

I'll light the match
In Hell's Kitchen

White hot
I watch in awe
Closed off from air
Smoldering slowly

Let it sink in
Quietly
Burn softly
It's better this way

And when Hell's Kitchen grows still
The jacket is hung up
And the apron falls off her hips

Lessons from purgatory
The grave consequences
Punishment of the sleepless mind

Will singe and sear
Your soul

Until Well-Done

Crimson red blood
pulsing through veins
I feel the sweat gather on my brow

It trickles down my back
Fist-full of sea salt
A shower of briny white
I throw furiously onto
Your jaded placid body

I slam a skillet
Twice
Metal clashes with metal
a flint and flicker
Sparks fly

I sharpen my knife
MY knife...
Drawing it over and over
Diamond stone

Slipping my blade
Between those bones
Reckless and rough
Filleting flesh
Dead and cold

Flames on high
Disregard for you
For me
For safety and security

I grab the lifeless carcass
Red and ripped with fat
Jam it angrily on a screeching hot pan

BURN!!! BURN!!!
Char and blister that tenderness!!
What tenderness!! 

Contracting under the scorching heat
Buckle and bend
Dousing with cheap red wine
Less than $10 a bottle
Why waste my best!

Flash!
Engulfed in an inferno
Only I can end the misery

Tender meat no more
No tenderness from me
Sit over that fire.

Don't dare move.
Stay.

Until well-done...

 

You Four Walls

You four walls stand 

Blank and bland 

You’ve seen what no eyes have seen 

Witness to delights and disasters 

Cocktail parties and late night cravings 

You stay faithful, 24 hours a day 

7 days a week 

365 days a year 

You are always there 

Standing strong and standing firm

I can always rely on you

You’ve seen me cut myself 

Burn my forearms on the top of the oven, 

curse under my breath 

You’ve seen sneak a glug or two from the milk carton 

And steal a spoonful of ice cream from the tub 

You four walls keep my secrets

You’ve seen my tears 

Watched me fight endless fights 

I’ve even treated your poorly 

Smashing plates against you 

Fury pulsing through my veins 

Yet you said nothing 

You stayed there. 

Solid and unyielding 

You four walls have seen it all 

Understanding everything and still saying nothing 

You’ve seen my “I’m sorry” breakfasts 

The “I forgive you” dinners 

The “It was my fault” packed lunches with silly unconditional love notes 

With pretty hearts and kisses and hugs

But you said nothing. 

You said nothing. 

You four walls, stood silent. 

Not once interrupting me 

Toxic habit after toxic habit. 

More spoons of ice cream. 

More mid-night cravings of cold pasta 

Bagels smeared with creamed cheese and strawberry jam 

Nutella from the jar 

Self-medicate I say, only you four walls and I know the truth 

A commotion… Another explosion contained in your four walls 

This time a cheap Ikea water glass, 

leaving a scar on your pale skin 

Don’t expect an apology this time. 

You still haven’t said a goddamn word 

You aren’t stepping in 

You aren’t jumping to my rescue 

But you still stand there 

You four walls 

You saw the splatters and the clashes 

You saw the bruises and the cuts 

The burns and the scrapes 

And if I were to ask you what you think? Silence… Still holding my secrets 

Still standing there 

Never stopping me 

Telling me to go – or to stay 

To stop the packed lunches 

Obligatory cups of tea at the door upon entering 

The “it was just me and my hormones” vodka cocktail I poured 

Enabling it over and over again 

You four walls… 

Faithful to the end 

You’ve seen what no other eyes have seen 

And let it be that way…

Death of Red Velvet

Death of Red Velvet:

 You walked into my shop.
The chime of the doorbell clanks hollow.
You leaned your forehead against the glass,
Covering your gaze with cupped palms
I look at you
Looking at me
You like what you see

And you look up at my maker
“This one please,” and I hear the thud of your index finger on the display case.

My maker, “Good choice, sir,” she says

Lifting me with her delicate hands,
Resting me on a bed of bent cardboard.
And soon it grows dark.
I no longer see his face,
The one who chose me.
I hear the drag and pull of scissors.
Soon I am airborne and lifted away
I recall his face was handsome
Dusty brown hair and a red tie

Eyes dark and hungry For me? I hope for it my dream to live inside him.
To make his tongue wrap around my sweetness and keep him awake all night like sweet things do.

I feel him lift me again swinging me up and back
He rests me somewhere.
But it doesn’t feel right…
I’m slipping. No this can’t be!
The angle is too much!
No no no…I must be consumed by him and him alone! Not on the street for feet to trampleon me or lapped up by hungry gulls! Unappreciated for my delicacies and frills!

*sigh!* he catches me!!!
Silly fool! To risk me so!

The jingling of keys and a sound much like the door at the shop.

I’ve arrived at my new home
He pulls off my ribbon
Unfolds the cardboard cradle that holds me.
There is his face. Handsome face!
He puts his hands around me lifting me up to his lips
He breaths me in and walks me over to a glass stand

I get placed there and covered with a dome once again
I sit there and wait.
He will cut me tonight!!! My insides begin to melt, growing soft.
But I must hold it together. No drips or slips. He must have me in my perfection.
The lights switch off. In the dark? Again?
Maybe I’ll be his midnight delight!

The sun peaks through the curtains. He shuffled into the kitchen and looks in my direction.
Breakfast? I’ll be his lunch and dinner too…I’m ready.

The smell of coffee and grass being cut. The day has passed.
I start to lean a bit. I’m tired of standing. Keeping steady isn’t easy. I still look fresh, ready to leap into him.

The night comes and dishes are washed. Lights off again.
Has he forgotten me? Right here I sit. What’s wrong? Did he pick me by mistake?

Morning comes. Shuffle in. Pour coffee. Out the door again.

Disappearing. I feel myself breaking down. I wanted this to be his perfect bite! And so I wait another day in the life of a trapped beauty in this prison.
How many before me have come here to slump over to die untouched?

The door opens. Twilight. Tossing keys on the counter. He’s not looked at me since he brought me home.

I rest on the side of my glass enclosure. I cannot hold it together.

And so comes my time
I lost my sweet.
My moist flesh now a dry crumble.
Butter cream pours out my cocoa-red veins.
And so I collapse.

In my last moment I hear the sound of my clear dome lift.

I cannot stop what happens next.

He chose me. Found me and brought me here.

One purpose and one alone…to live in a crystal fortress.
To decorate his counter, so he will feel my beauty from a distance.
To tease me but never touch me.

Leaving me here to by his time and keep his kitchen entertained for a moment or two.

Then I finally slip away…

And so goes my tale…death of Red Velvet

Dinner Parties Q&A

Dinner parties.

I LOVE dinner parties!

I also love breakfast, lunch and brunch parties but dinner parties are special.

I love hosting them and I love going to them. How can anyone dread a dinner party?? Its pretty simple...it's food, it's people, probably a few drinks, and load of chatter, some of which is quality discussion such as politics and current events, and some that is mind numbing or flat out gossip about who's with who and how did they 'link-up'.  Music hums in the background, random bursts of laughter and hands slapping knees as a hearty joke is told with impeccable timing.

A room can often divide with the amount of topics that fly across the space and more often than not I am the silent participant in the vocal tug of war.  Observing and nodding my head when a valid point is made, even when I'm the guest, I will lovingly pour wine and refresh glasses as the table talk continues.

Dinner parties.

But every once in a while, (especially, when I'm NOT the host) then attention would somehow fall on me and the world's more vanilla question lands in my lap.

"So, what do you do?"

Yep, it's a pretty lame question. Frankly, we all do a lot of things.  But it always revolves around one's profession. So I tend answer like this:

"Oh, well, I'm in F&B..."

Pause.

"F&B? So you're in food and beverage. Doing what exactly?"

Now we're getting into specifics.

"Well, sales at the moment. But I'm a chef by tra-,"

Another voice from across the room blurts out,

"What?  You're a chef? Hun, did you know that she's a chef? That's fantastic!"

And so it begins...The slew of questions about food and cooking. And the politics stop, the banter becomes a bit muffled as I start to ramble on and on about the thing I love the most. Food & Drink:

So how do you stop chicken from sticking to the pan?

Preheat well, don't cook in a cold pan.

THEN add the fat.

THEN add the meat.

THEN don't try to move it

But what if it burns?

Turn down the heat a little. *duh!*

Allow it to brown

Browning is the universes way of making sure you know it's okay to flip it.

Natural non-stick indicator, trust it.

How many appetizers do you need to make for a party? I never know...

Depends, are you serving dinner? Or is it just cocktails?

Yes to dinner: 3-4 bites per person of light snacks, veggie platters work

Then do a hot app and then one other cold app.

Dips save a lot of headache.  Master 3 good dips and you're sorted.

No to dinner: Be generous. At least 6-10 bites per person.

Dips, something baked, include a varieties of beasts - fish, chicken, beef

Vegetarian options. Ever tried making a bruschetta station?

This is my big save! Lots of bread, and easy to make in advance.

*next question*I'm on a roll!*

My chocolate chip cookies are always really tough...I want them to be chewy!

Don't mix up the baking powder for baking soda

Measure correctly. Don't 'cowboy' it.

Never 'cowboy' in baking.

Butter is expensive, you'll regret it.

How are you not like, HUGE? I mean, if I were a chef, I'd eat everything!

Chefs don't eat what they cook.

It screws up the food cost.

What makes us full is the act of cooking alone

Sounds deep and meaningful but its quite simple:

Ever get in your mind you really want to cook a dish?

Like you MUST prepare it and eat the whole thing?

You go out and buy all the ingredients, and not cheap ingredients...no no

We're talking VIP ingredients! Top shelf stuff!

Come home, cut and prep. You get excited!

By the time you've finish making it, you're so over it?

Yeah...that's us every day.

We'll take a pound of chicken wings with hot sauce and 2 colds ones from the shady pub down the way, thanks!

I just LOVE cheesecake, do you have a good recipe?

2 bricks of cream cheese

1/2 cup sugar

2 eggs

Zest and juice of 1 lemon

Crumbs of choice packed into a spring-form pan with butter - blind bake for 15 mins let it cool

Whip all the other players up, pour it over the cooled crust

Bung it in the oven with a water bath to prevent cracking

About 30-45 mins at 350. Edge will be cooked but the centre will jiggle a little - that's all fine

Cool, then chill-chest

You're laughing!

Wait...wait...say that again?

What's you're email, I'll send it to you.

So...what's the deal with chefs and the attitude, why did you stop?

This is loaded. I usually say the following - Oh I still chef, I just do it at home now and focus on other aspects of F&B to build my career. That attitude stuff is just a bit overblown, it's really an individual thing.  That's the short answer.

The real answer is this:

Why the attitude?

We work long hours in very close quarters with each other.

You get bumped,shoved, burned, cut.

Sweating and living off of coffee and eating over a sink

Dealing with untrained servers, and being short staffed

Low pay, high stress, again eating over the sink

Missed mom's birthday, can't make it to new years eve parties

I lost feeling in my left index finger 7 years ago

Ankles click when I walk and I had zero fashion sense for ages

Wearing a man's uniform for so long does that to you.

Haven't made time to go to the bank, still used a flip phone

Touch screens were just messy

Didn't do laundry on time, took to arriving to work extra early to sleep in my Mazda in the empty parking lot so to not be late. I also had with me a baseball bat as I slept...just in case

Ate over the sink yet again and drank that last bit of Merlot out of a chipped tea cup

Dealt with rage-aholics, alcoholics, drug addicts and sexist delinquents.

Got stuck in a walk-in fridge once, not cool - no pun intended

Been critiqued by "foodie" people who don't know the difference between a stock and broth, who were shocked that vichyssoise was served cold, and asked for their tenderloin to be served well-done! What the hell!? Reallly?! Well-done? Here's my shoe, eat that...

I look around at the raised eyebrows and the paused faces

No blinks. Just stares.

But I can julienne an onion without looking

Perfectly hard boiled eggs take less than 10 mins

I've saved wedding cakes and fed the homeless

I can tell when a fish supplier is selling me frozen salmon versus the fresh stuff.

Yep, the skills are still there!

But to answer your questions...why did I stop?

Truth is, I never did. No chef quits being a chef. They just hang up the apron and take off the hat. 

They find a moment in life where cooking doesn't have to be a way to make a living, but cooking becomes how to be alive. You can take away a canvas and brush but the artist will continue to paint. 

Food and Drink are who I am. I still eat over the sink and even though now I have a touch screen phone, I don't mind having sticky finger prints on there. And yes, I still pour wine into the closest cup I find.

Yes, I love a dinner party.  

Cheers!

xo,

The Girl

Book of Recipes

We started a book of recipes
The pages were fresh and white
No fingerprints or smudges

I closed all books behind me
Emptied the fridge
Wiped the cupboards clean

Fresh and white just for you
Just for us

I walked into this book of recipes
Blank and free
Hoping the epicurean creativity
Will flow

I tried to make something sweet
Drips of honey, hints of clover
But you crushed onions
Adding some salty tears instead

I tried to make
Light and airy meringues
Like a clouds of 9 for
Us to sleep and dream upon

But you smeared hot oil
And smashed eggshells
Like culinary improvisation
Deliberately and deceivingly
Causing clouds to collapse

I tried to nurture and make you rise
But you sliced my palms
I couldn't knead
I couldn't help
I couldn't even hold

For every dish I placed in front of you
You tasted and tossed
Sometimes you just tossed
You didn't taste the love

I filled the table with what was only for you
But you pulled the table cloth vicious and furious
Like a trick...or sad attempt at slight of hand
And flung it
Across the room
Staining the walls

I tried to create a recipe book
Just for you
For you to dine
For you to get your fill

And I went without and happily so
As I fed you with both hands
Wiping my tears on ragged dishcloths
Hanging from my shoulder
My own to cry on

But I still let you set the pace
Set the temperature
Setting my kitchen ablaze

And soon you scorched
My every pot
Crisped and burnt my every pan

Dinged and warped my every dish

Melted and corroded
My each and every vessel

Until I was left with no place
For a single recipe
Or a single heartbeat to stay

Stopped opening cupboards
No longer filling your fridge
So I close this book of recipes
And start a new one
Just for me...

*Cooking up magic...one word at a time*

xo,
The Girl

Get to Know The Girl

Just a little about me...very little..

It's not a blog post so much as it is a bit of bio on The Girl ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

What is today's date? February 17, 2016

What time is it right now? 8:03 pm - local time

*PERSONAL DETAILS

Nicknames? You can just call me "The Girl" others call me Rani

Where do you live? I'm a global citizen

What's your age? Old enough

Hair color? Black

Eye color? Dark brown - black

Height? 5' 2"

Star Sign? I sting quite hot ;-) Scorpio

Element? Water

Obsessions? Micropoetry, Cooking, Learning

Bad habits? Is biting my lip a bad habit? I do that a lot

Phobias? Spiders...*shivers*


*ABOUT YOU

What makes you happy? Besides friends/Family...my passion for cooking and feeding others, learning and teaching others, and of course a great laugh from the heart!

What really irritates you? Malicious people, racism, general rudeness (especially the phrase 'shut up')

What makes you sad? Dishonesty and manipulation, and disrespect.

What makes you angry? Traffic

What makes you scared? Not being able to do enough for those I love when the time comes

Who is your best friend? :) How do I choose?

Ever broken a bone? Nope! *knock on wood*

What's the best advice you've ever received? Don't do anything in your life that you feel you have to say "I'm sorry" for & Take care of your mind and body...you only have one of each (parents)

What was the last CD you bought? Ed Sheeran X

What was the last book you read? Lean In - currently reading

Who was the last person you spoke to? The Security guard of my building

What was the last thing you ate? Turtles Chocolate Candy

What was the last thing you drank? Coconut Water

What's the best thing you've ever bought? Right now, I have to say I'm really happy I bought a laptop so I can write again!

What's the worst thing you've ever bought? I don't think I've made such a huge blunder with money but I have bought some pieces of clothes that are questionable.

What's the best thing you've ever been given? My life - Don't ever take it for granted

What's the worst thing you've ever been given? These silly electric bedroom slippers that were supposed to 'massage' my feet. 

What are your future goals? To own a bed & breakfast, create a holistic, calm and relaxing get-away that would be family run :) I'd have a lovely little garden out back growing tomatoes and carrots. I can even picture the linens!

Describe your bedroom? White sheets, white pillows, a desk, my blue-tooth speakers to listen to music, 2 very large windows and some unfolded laundry. That's the technical part but my room is spacious, relaxing and my hide-out ;)

What's your most embarrassing moment? I've had uncomfortable moments but nothing so embarrassing. If I did have an embarrassing moment, I've done a fantastic job repressing it!

Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world? My mother. Why? Because she's got a big heart but she doesn't take s*** from anyone. She taught me to appreciate the gift of health and a strong body and even stronger mind.  If I can be half the woman she is, I'd be super lucky!

Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world? Haha :) He's got the most kindest eyes, hair I want to push my finger tips through, and delicious lips. The handsomest man to me...well he would know who he is the second I lay my eyes on him ;)

Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day? Hot summer days call for a cold beverage rum-laced preferably, something delicious on the BBQ cooking away and my notebook...to write

Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day? snuggle...

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be? 1) To always be associated with the ability to make those around me smile 2) Generally, I'd like to know that everyone can eat well, sleep in peace and have a safe place to live 3) Don't think I need the last wish...

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do? I don't think there's anything I'd go back and change...things turn out the way they do for a reason

What's the first thing you think about when you wake up? "5 more minutes"

Have you ever been in love? Yes

Do you believe in the after-life? Yes...

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? Hmm, with a family, a B&B, healthy, content (financially, emotionally & spiritually), with a holistic life...peace of mind and surrounded by those I love

Do you have any regrets in life? Not really, no.

What advice would you give to a kid? Anything is possible if you work smart and trust your instincts.  Also have as much fun as you can before it becomes too late...

Any hidden talents? It's hidden for a reason...cheeky cheeky!!!

Is yours an 'innie' or 'outie'? Innie

Last job? Sales Manager - CUT by Wolfgang Puck

Current job? See above - in theory

Dream job? Besides the B&B owner and operator? A teacher in Food Theory

Who is your hero? My Dad

Describe yourself in 3 words: Loyal, Witty, Smart

*FAVORITES

Favorite color? Purple

Favorite number? 15

Favorite animal? Indian Elephant

Favorite sport (to play)? Baseball

Favorite sport (to watch)? I watch a variety of sports. From cricket to football, golf to even F1...depends on my mood

Favorite Show(s)? Game of Thrones, House of Cards, New Girl....etc

Favorite movies? Godfather Trilogy, Goodfellas, Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, Shawshank Redemption gosh...too much to choose from...

Favorite band? The Beatles

Favorite song? Blackbird - The Beatles, You're in my heart - Rod Stewart

Favorite room in the house? The Kitchen...obviously

Favorite board game? Balderdash

Favorite food? Sushi, just about anything my mother or father makes, pancakes :)

Favorite fast-food? French Fries...no preference on the outlet...

Favorite drink? Non-alky - Coffee...Alky - mojito

Favorite magazine? Shape

Favorite place? The Kitchen or my bed...it a toss up

Favorite cartoon character? Homer - lol just super funny to me

Favorite day of the week? Friday

Favorite day of the year? Christmas

Favorite season? Fall - the colours are inspiring

Favorite holiday? Christmas!

Favorite country? Canada - Je suis Canadien! And Guyana...

Favorite smell? The smell of something browning :) See previous blog post 

Favorite sound? Laughter

Favorite accent? mmm...if you know me...you know the answer to that...


*PREFERENCES

Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi...

Pen or Pencil? Pen - Black

Day or Night? Night baby

Cat or Dog? Dog

Summer or Winter? Summer - in Canada to be specific 

T.V. or Radio? TV

Brains or Beauty? Beautiful Brains....

Cup or Mug? Mug

Tea or Coffee? Coffee or Chai!!

Gold or Silver? No preference

Brush or Comb? Brush

City or Country? Tropical country side...palm trees, sweet breeze, lush jungle...

Red or White wine? White

Early or Late riser? Late...I like being cozy

Scary or Romantic movies? Scary...

Board or Computer games? Hello board games!!!

Half full or Half empty? I've share of both kinds of moments...but I choose to see it as half full

Happy and poor or Sad and rich? Who says the one has to be the other? Why set limits??? I choose happy regardless of the account balance

Glasses or Contacts? I rock either one depending on my vibe

Flowers or Chocolates? Chocolates...always

Love or Money? Love...always

Hugs or Kisses? Kisses...always


*RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

What are you wearing? Blue jeans and a grey sweater

What's the latest news? My Twitter feed is posting updates about poor air quality in Beijing and Delhi - CNN

What's the weather like? It's Dark and cool outside...a lovely night for a stroll

How do you feel? I'm blushing at the moment...a tingly feeling along my collar and neck that creeps up to my cheeks...


*WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...

Cried? This morning - at the airport

Laughed? Today

Swore? Today

Lied? Not in a while

Got drunk? Oh it's been a while...

Read a newspaper? Online...couple days ago

Read your horoscope? I don't check it as often as I'd like...thanks for reminding me!

Had a bath/shower? This morning

Had a cold? not in a very long time...*knock on wood!*

Smiled at someone? Today

Gave someone a cuddle? :) Does Mr. Pots count  :) - He's my sweet dog

Said, 'I love you'? This morning to my parents...*sigh*



*THE OPPOSITE SEX

What is a turn on? Self confidence, a man who can carry himself and knows what he wants...

What is a turn off? Ego, too much bravado, uncertainty in his actions...

What physical feature are you attracted to the most? Eyes...and lips that make a killer smile

Best pick up line? Please...no pick up lines! Say it! "I like you! Let's go out and see where it goes!" massive turn on...no script necessary

What's the most irritating thing about them? Mean what you say...say what you mean...Please don't make me read your mind...nothing more annoying and that's general rule for people I feel.

Could you live without them? Mmmm...I can, but the question should be do I want to?

Describe your ideal partner? :) I won't put those expectations and limitations out into the universe. Why? Because my ideal partner would never put those expectations or limitations on me....

What time is it now? 9:10pm